Saturday, March 8, 2014

Fleeting thoughts...

I am beautiful?

Well I know I am not ugly. But am I beautiful?

When I think of the word beautiful, I think of someone who's insides match their outsides.

Smile in the dark

I have slowly settled into Cali. I'm getting more and more used to the thought that I am out here for good. I mean it is hard to swallow that when I am staying at my sister's house, but I think it will all get easier when I finally have my own place and I am doing my own thing.

Things right now consist of work, school, money, and well, money again. Lets do money x2. lol. But money then goes back to work and basically I just need to find a better job. I'm trying not to get overwhelmed with all the things I need to do and keep track of. Maybe I should make a list.

1.Find better job.
2. Talk to AT&T about my own plan. Or see if I can hop on someone else's.
3.Find an apartment.

Okay, so the list isn't that bad. At least #2 is super doable. Just #1 and #3 require more thought. And time. And money. Sigh.

Overall though, I think I am ok. Counseling is kind of helping. I'm not sure how I feel about it yet. Next Thursday will be my third session.

My birthday is next Friday. I am...apathetic? Just excited to eat sushi and drink I guess.
Jay is coming down from San Fran to visit me. I hope things dont get complicated with Dallas because of it...I dont think it should.

Anywho, yesterday was mom's bday. I missed her, but for the most part I wasn't really thinking about her. It makes me sad to say that, but it is the truth. I guess its how we cope.

Well I am going to continue taking it a day at a time and striving to continue smiling in the dark.